Resistance vs. Fear

“Letting go of inner resistance, you often find circumstances change for the better.” – Eckhart Tolle

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via Eckhart Tolle Present Moment Reminders

Letting go of inner resistance changes our circumstances for the better? Doesn’t that really mean “giving in?” If we are resisting something, doesn’t that mean there is a reason for the resistance?

Yes and no. We do need to look at the things we resist. It may mean we need to change our situation, be it a relationship, a job, a lifestyle. The key is recognizing a red flag, a need for change, versus our mind continually going in circles.

Situations where there is abuse involved, verbal, emotional, or physical, require change. Immediate change. It’s important to differentiate between Resistance and Fear. Sometimes we cannot leave those situations immediately due to fear, whether our own or an outside actual threat. That fear is a red flag, our intuition telling us it is not safe.

Fear means your stomach drops. Fear means your hands shake. Fear means you walk on eggshells. Fear is not being yourself, not expressing your thoughts, because of bad consequences.

If you’re not sure which category your situation is, particularly in relationships, take a look at some of these traits.

In those cases, help it needed. A plan is needed. Action is needed. See the sidebar here for resources. Make a Safety Plan.

Creating a plan and taking action will get the mind off of that circular track. Knowing that a bad situation is short term and that you are willing to change it, forwards our thoughts into a new direction. A plan allows us to let go of the repetitiveness and move in a new direction.

Resistance is your mind constantly running. Resistance is looking into something new, but then not doing anything about it.Sometimes our mind just spins. If our life is basically all right, if we are not in a precarious situation, it’s time to sort out the spin from reality.

Our minds crave drama. The ego craves drama. It wants to be the center of attention. So it will create drama when a situation is really okay – okay in the sense of, you’re not in danger. Maybe you are unhappy with your job. All right. Make a plan. Apply for new jobs. Take new classes or training. But if that doesn’t work for you, if you never take those steps, consider why. Is the ego just looking for some attention?

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it…” (A New Earth).

 

In these situations, it’s time to drop the resistance. Accept where things are at the present moment. Decide whether to take action or not. And then, accept again where you are. Slowly, the resistance will fade away.

Letting go of inner resistance, you often find circumstances change for the better

Disarm: Anthology as Action

Any action is often better than no action. ~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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What happens when you’ve contacted your representatives, signed petitions, argued with people you haven’t seen since high school on Facebook, unfriended said people you haven’t seen since high school on Facebook, followed and tweeted the #filibuster and #goodtrouble sit-in…and it still doesn’t seem like enough?

Disarm, an anthology in the works from Black Heart Magazine, is looking for submissions, including poetry and prose, fiction and non-fiction. For now, this is the action I will take.

I cannot watch another mass shooting go by and do nothing.

I cannot worry whether a reader, a student, a colleague, a student is going to disagree with me. They might. And, in my neck of the literal woods, they probably will.

I cannot return to teaching in August and practice shelter-in-place drills with my students as if it were normal, to listen to the security presentation about how a piece of paper over the window will prevent a tragedy. Children practice each school year how not to get shot…this should not be the norm. This should not be accepted.

I cannot read the Second Amendment again, and wonder how half a nation and half a Supreme Court misses the words “militia” and “well-regulated.”

I cannot ignore the correlation to domestic violence. Research is needed here. Reporting domestic violence is needed here.

I cannot watch news reports and wait for another round of thoughts and prayers, and no action.

“If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally…” ~ Eckhart Tolle.

I cannot remove myself because this is my home. I love my family, my community, my friends. Yet I cannot accept the current state of things. I cannot accept mass murder. I cannot accept a personal right to bear arms when innocent people are killed en masse. I cannot accept that, as a society, we are desensitized to it.

Some things are Not. Right. Some things need action.

 

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